How to work with “stupid” people
On Quora today I saw a question to the effect of: How do I put up with the stupid people I inevitably find myself working with? Here’s my answer:
I consider myself reasonably intelligent, yet I have had no problem surrounding myself with people at or above my intellectual level. I’ve also had good relationships with co-workers at all levels of intelligence. Unless you’re a world-class genius (statistically unlikely), you are probably mis-diagnosing people as stupid.
I’ll assume that you’re not just lashing out at others as a defense mechanism against your own insecurities (although you need honestly ask yourself that). I’ll assume that you sincerely believe that other people are stupid, probably based on finding it difficult to discuss things and agree with them.
But what you’re really evaluating is their judgment. Differences in judgment are rarely due to stupidity—in work, in friendships or in politics. You can’t address the problem until you identify the real cause. Calling everyone “stupid” leaves you with no next steps.
Here’s a guide for what to do instead:
Before you even decide that you disagree with someone, work to understand their judgment. You may not disagree at all. For instance:
- Do you fully understand what they’re saying? Or are you talking past each other?
- Are you answering the same question? Maybe each of you is answering a different angle on the question (e.g., “what’s our next step?” vs. “what’s the long-term solution?”)
- Are you using terms in the same way? Sometimes disagreements come from differing definitions and terminology.
- Are you talking completely in abstractions? Give examples, and ask them for examples, to get clear and concrete.
- Are you both being clear and precise in your formulations? Sometimes people phrase things loosely or talk in metaphors that aren’t meant to be taken literally.
Ask questions, make sure you understand them fully.
If you decide that you disagree, work to understand their thinking process:
- What are the reasons for their conclusion?
- What is their evidence? What observations or data points are they relying on?
- What general premises or lessons do they take to be relevant? What principles, frameworks, or theories are they applying?
- What goals and values are conditioning their approach?
Ask them (and learn to do it without threatening or intimidating them). You may change your mind through the process.
If not, at least you will understand better how to reason with them:
- Have you seen important data that they haven’t? Maybe they missed a key fact, or they just haven’t seen the breadth or depth of data that you have. Inform them and see if they come around.
- Do you have relevant experience that they don’t? Tell them the observations or lessons learned that lead you to your conclusion (without being didactic or condescending).
- Are you bringing different lessons learned from different backgrounds? If so, which context applies, if either? Maybe one of you has mostly worked at startups and the other mostly at big companies. Which context is relevant here?
- Is either of you making an unwarranted assumption? There are lessons learned and then there are “lessons” that you guessed about and forgot to validate through experience or research. If you disagree with their premises, address that directly.
- Are you guided by different goals and values? If so, you’ll reach different solutions to a problem. Get aligned on goals before arguing about problems and solutions.
- Do you subscribe to different relevant theories? If so, you may not be able to resolve the disagreement quickly, and may need to take another approach (e.g., pick anything reasonable and measure the outcome, or let a third party make the decision).
Throughout all of this reasoning, be aware of the emotional context:
- Are they afraid of the conclusion? Maybe it threatens their work, their reputation, or their self-esteem. There’s no excuse for this, but it happens to everyone sometimes. Good people recognize it sooner or later and let their emotions go. Sometimes a close friend or co-worker can get them to see what’s going on by asking sympathetic questions. (Be sure to ask this question of yourself as well.)
- Are environmental stresses degrading their judgment? Time pressure or having your career on the line can make it hard to do your best work.
- Are they intimidated by you? If you really are smarter or better-spoken, they may be swamped by emotions of insecurity that make it hard to think. You may be unwittingly shutting them down, which begins a vicious cycle. Tone it down.
If you disagree with someone consistently over time, consider these potential cognitive and psychological problems:
- They may have good judgment but poor communication skills. If you repeatedly find that you agree after clearing up initial miscommunication, keep this in mind and account for it. It can be frustrating and it takes patience, but it’s better than arguing and they may even appreciate it.
- They may have raw intelligence, but poor thinking habits—patterns of absorbing, processing, and filing information. Cognitively, they aren’t set up to get to the heart of a matter, to distinguish between essential and accidental details, to form and apply valid generalizations. This too may require patience. It isn’t good, but it isn’t willful, irrational, or stupid. Concentrate on what other virtues and talents they bring to the table, such as creativity, diligence, or relationship-building.
- They may have general insecurities that make them afraid of looking stupid or give them a psychological need to win arguments. There’s no excuse for this either, but you can sometimes work with people anyway if they don’t do this too much or too often, or hold onto it for too long.
- They may have a problem with you personally. Maybe they’ve decided that you’re “arrogant” or obstinate. Maybe they know that you think they’re stupid and resent it. In any case, this will make them less likely to listen to you and more likely to argue with you. They may dig in their heels on a particular issue, or just discount your judgment generally. Admit that you’re part of the problem and work to change.
Bottom line: Stupidity explains only a small percentage of people’s disagreements. Calling someone “stupid” is a dead end—you can’t fix it. Instead, figure out what’s really going on.
Some final advice for the workplace:
- Make sure you’re working in an environment that promotes objective decisions. If decisions are made based on personality and emotions instead of data and discussion, it will make everyone “stupid”. Go somewhere else.
- Choose your battles. You don’t have to get your way in every disagreement. Let other people own their work. Fight only on the decisions that are important and hard to reverse.
- Earn a reputation over time through excellent work. This is much more powerful in commanding attention than intellectual prowess.
I didn’t realize I had so much to say on this topic until I started writing the answer. Quora is doing a great job at getting people to write on topics they never would have otherwise—even folks like me who keep blogs.
I think that you leave the most important part of your article towards the end and do not give it enough weight. In a recent studies using an fMRI, which allows you to image brain activity in real time, two groups of people were selected that supported two different political candidates. They were each given three positive things about each candidate and three negative things about each candidate. The were then asked who they supported and why. In each case, the part of the brain that fired first was the one associated with emotion. After that the intellectual side kicked in. It seemed that the emotional part of the brain would make the decision and then the intellect would cherry pick information to support the emotional decision. Intellectual decision making is not a natural skill.
All your appeals to logic and reason are great if you are working with Mr Spock. When working with humans, figuring out the emotional aspects of how people you work with make their decisions is often much more difficult, and much more valuable. No logical argument will persuade someone whose decision has been made emotionally.
A signature of smart people is humility.
Smart people realize no matter how much they may already know, there is so much more to learn.
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[...] How to work with “stupid” people How do I put up with the stupid people I inevitably find myself working with? (tags: management intelligence business collaboration conflict) [...]
Nice article, and the comments make for an interesting debate. I enjoyed reading this.
[...] av Thomas Drakengren den april 29, 2010 Scott Berkun recenserar en artikel som handlar om att hur man kan se på saken när man tror att man jobbar med ”dumma” [...]
Thank you Jason, posted your link this on my Emotional FItness Blog. Well done. I often point out to those that complain about another's stupidity that it might be they are so smart, so long as not smart-a– they should be able to figure the other person's thinking out.
i agree some people should jump off a cliff or something or get shot in a drive by i dont care.
Misunderstanding are very common in international communication. The words used are the same, but the meaning and expectations behind can be miles from your own.
Thanks
This whole article seems pretty stupid…
Intelligence is non-linear.
[...] How to work with “stupid” peopleLots of helpful advice.Tags: advice arguments collaboration rhetoric conflict Tags: advice, arguments, collaboration, competencies, conflict, consulting, del.icio.us, humor, microsoft, rhetoric, techrepublic [...]
[...] You are Probably Mis-Diagnosing People as Stupid (jasoncrawford.org) [...]
you are stupid
Well said!
TRYING TO WORK WITH PEOPLE ON DIFFERENT WAYS, SOMETIMES IS IMPOSIBLE BECAUSE PEOPLE THINK DIFFERENT ONE TO ANOTHERS.
This is a great article!!! It is part of the human condition to be stupid since none of us are born with the data and experiences we gain in our short lives. How quickly we understand and tolerate things is perhaps the true measure of intelligence. Is this why understanding people have more inner peace and happiness? if someone is lazy or has a mental illness that forces their tortured ego to lash out at others in a counter productive – smokescreen-ish way then they are and should be dealt with as a liability.
“Differences in judgment are rarely due to stupidity.”
While I appreciate the spirit of this article and generally agree, the quoted statement cannot be true. If it were, there would be little or no evolutionary pressure for us to get smarter. If it doesn't improve our judgement in how we act and interact, then what good is it? Why does humankind have such big brains if it so rarely came into play in actual survival and reproduction outcomes, which all require judgement?
So you're saying there's no such thing as a stupid person? I agree that miscommunication plays a great role in disagreements, but believe me, stupid people also do exist, and they're of two types:
1. Those who are born stupid, meaning that they just have an IQ level of lower than the average people.
2. Those who have grown stupid, meaning that they do have the talent, but for whatever reason, they often just don't use it.
It`s strange but I work with them everyday.
But what to say about people who doesn`t want to work http://www.sproperties.ru
[...] [...]
a client had a programmer who caused the websites rankings to plummet in SERP, no matter if it was his judgment or intelligence he is still stupid
though I do want to say that I find what works for me is that I first take the point of view what if the person you are arguing with believes as strong as you do about what he or she is talking about
Don't worry , I'm a Driver !
I'll spell it out for you… calling “people” stupid is an admission that one is stupid, which is stupid.
Very comprehensive post … and great value points to …
Mostly these points can be taken up as questions and further points in discussion whenever you are in an argument with someone….
I wonder if this excellent post has received so many replies because it is confusingly similar to answering the question but actually does not? The post answers how Jason has learned never to think of people as stupid. However, a number of posters note that it is a statistical fact for almost all of we who post to blogs that some people are “stupider” based on some single measure which may affect a work team.
The solution to to that particular problem is division of labor. Knowing someone who can't do what I do, who can only do less, is a great boon in a free market. I can hire that person so I can be free to do more of the work I'm more uniquely suited to do. I offload those things my partner can handle.
There are lots of times people's productivity on a given task vary by 10:1. I have been very proud to be a “1″ to people who are “10″ on some tasks, Jason included! Lol.
Great article, i particularly liked your explanation regarding the level of intelligence one is presenting throughout a speech, being intimidating towards the receiver. I really related to that, i realized that the social interaction skills are far apart from linguistic or communication skills. Should we never relate one being good at speeches, being similarly good at those damn social skills.
Slatz, your comment said it best. I couldn't agree with you more.
Q: How do I work with stupid people?
A: Maybe they aren't really stupid.
Q: Where do I find an article about how to work with stupid people?